Our Featured Clean Joke Archive

Did you hear about the man who was knocked over by a runaway horse?
He's in a stable condition.

Last night my girlfriend asked me if I believed in the hereafter?
I said of course I do.
Then she said, well, hereafter I want you to leave me alone.

What did the nut say when he sneezed?
Cashew!

After discovering they had won ten million pounds on the National Lottery, Mr and Mrs McKenzie sat down to discuss their future. "After twenty years of washing other people's stairs to earn money," said Mrs McKenzie, "At last I can throw away my old scrubbing brush."
"Of course you can," said her husband. "We can easily afford to buy you a new one now."

What do you get if you cross a hen with a hyena?
An animal that laughs at every yolk.

What do refrigeration engineers do in their spare time?
They chill out.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I've just been bitten by a dog.
Doctor: Name?
Patient: Fido.